All Families are Dysfunctional
If every person is broken, then a group of people is dysfunctional. A broken person figures out ways to protect themself, and a group of broken people figure out a way to interact which works-- but not always in a healthy way. Some families are passive-aggressive, some yell, some avoid, some shame, some use guilt. How does your family interact?
If you choose to get married, you are not marrying a person. You are marrying a family, a dysfunctional family. Now you have to navigate not only your family but the family you have married. Often they are totally different dysfunctional structures. At first it may seem like such a relief, but at some point it will most likely make you just as crazy as your own family.
And now there is a third dysfunctional unit- you, your spouse and any children you may decide to have. Add in ex-spouses and step children-- It can get overwhelming. Good communication, good boundaries, and good self-care are needed.
If your family is abusive- it is not only ok but imperative that you protect yourself, even to the point of cutting off ties. If one person is abusive and the others allow it to continue they are part of the abuse.
If you choose to get married, you are not marrying a person. You are marrying a family, a dysfunctional family. Now you have to navigate not only your family but the family you have married. Often they are totally different dysfunctional structures. At first it may seem like such a relief, but at some point it will most likely make you just as crazy as your own family.
And now there is a third dysfunctional unit- you, your spouse and any children you may decide to have. Add in ex-spouses and step children-- It can get overwhelming. Good communication, good boundaries, and good self-care are needed.
If your family is abusive- it is not only ok but imperative that you protect yourself, even to the point of cutting off ties. If one person is abusive and the others allow it to continue they are part of the abuse.