A year ago I wrote about how grief sneaks up on me every year at this time.
The past few weeks at work have been crazy busy with the changing of our name from AKT to Aldrich. Tax season is approaching quickly... my nerves have been stretched.
Last evening I was heading to church for a meeting when I drove past the Oregon Fairgrounds. On the sign was the upcoming Home Show. Here is what happened inside my head:
Dale and I went to that home show... just before he was diagnosed with cancer... he was in so much pain.... we had a terrible fight because he was trying to hide his pain......... now I can see all the signs that he was covering up his terrible pain.......
By the time I got to church I thought I had pulled myself together. As I sat down the pastor asked me, "How are you?" Being the feeling extrovert that I am, I started to share and started to sob. It is hard to chair a meeting when you are sobbing. <smile>
So here I am, repeating my yearly cycle of reliving 2005 when Dale was sick and 2006 after he was gone. Yes, I relive all of those 2 years in a 3 month span every year. Wow. I just realized how crazy making that is. No wonder I feel crazy! I guess it is time for me to seek out ways to get off this train.
Thank you for listening.
The past few weeks at work have been crazy busy with the changing of our name from AKT to Aldrich. Tax season is approaching quickly... my nerves have been stretched.
Last evening I was heading to church for a meeting when I drove past the Oregon Fairgrounds. On the sign was the upcoming Home Show. Here is what happened inside my head:
Dale and I went to that home show... just before he was diagnosed with cancer... he was in so much pain.... we had a terrible fight because he was trying to hide his pain......... now I can see all the signs that he was covering up his terrible pain.......
By the time I got to church I thought I had pulled myself together. As I sat down the pastor asked me, "How are you?" Being the feeling extrovert that I am, I started to share and started to sob. It is hard to chair a meeting when you are sobbing. <smile>
So here I am, repeating my yearly cycle of reliving 2005 when Dale was sick and 2006 after he was gone. Yes, I relive all of those 2 years in a 3 month span every year. Wow. I just realized how crazy making that is. No wonder I feel crazy! I guess it is time for me to seek out ways to get off this train.
Thank you for listening.
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