Love is a choice not a feeling

PLEASE NOTE: This does not apply to an abusive relationship. If you are being abused emotionally or physically please find help to get out. (I am here if you need me.)   

I call it the Disney lie... the idea that if you just find the right person, if you just love them enough despite their flaws, if you just blah blah blah.... you will get married and live happily ever after. 

Marriage is hard! We are all broken people who come from dysfunctional families. Bring that together into a marriage and now you are 2 broken people with 2 dysfunctional ways of relating to others and bam! Talk about a recipe for disaster. 

So what happens when those goose bumps fade, when the romance withers away, when you go from madly in love to I don't really like this person I married? If you believe the Disney lie then you decide you made a mistake and you divorce. 

Love is a choice. Every day for the rest of your marriage you must wake up and say "Today I choose to love this person." Some days it will be really easy, some days you will say it through clenched teeth. 

Here is my personal version of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love chooses to be patient
Love chooses to respond with kindness
Love chooses not to be jealous, does not always have to be right, does not tear down the other person
Love considers the other person's feelings and needs
Love chooses not to remember past hurts
Love chooses to stay even when it would be easier to leave.