Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean

This has been on my mind the past few days as I received a message from a long time friend that I said something hurtful to her. This is one of my biggest faults, one I have to work on constantly. As an extrovert, I sometimes speak as a way of thinking.  I have a tendency to be sarcastic. I also tend to be less careful with my words with close friends/family.  I am working on the "don't say it mean." 

I added these words of wisdom to my life when I got frustrated with people who would say one thing and mean another. When I was dating I would often find that I would say something and the man would think I was playing games or meant the opposite. Unfortunately, we women sometimes do just that. How confusing for men! I learned to say up front "I say what I mean and I mean what I say." If I say I don't like something or I do want something I mean it. 

People cannot read your mind. If you don't say it, they won't know you want it, or like it, or need it. Being upset at someone for not meeting your needs when you have not expressed them is your fault, not theirs.  If someone does something you don't like it is your job to ask them to stop. 

I realize sometimes we have been damaged and cannot ask for what we need. Is there someone who can advocate for you?