In the summer of 2003, I was busy preparing to marry for the first time. I was also helping friends prepare their wedding. And I was committed to be the camp pastor at DCC for a week. I was overextended, and unfortunately I was overly confident in my ability to take on this week as pastor without much preparation. I was wrong and I failed miserably. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
13 year later I had mostly forgotten about that terrible week until I was back there, surrounded by campers. I was transported back to that week, I felt inadequate and ashamed. Thankfully this time I was not camp pastor and I had time and space to work through all those emotions. I was able to forgive myself. By the end of the week I even was brave enough to go to a chapel service and experience a camp pastor do it beautifully.
God's timing is perfect. I spent months contemplating fear. I preached a sermon on fear. And there I was with my worst fear in my face, fear of failure. I have failed at something I feel called to do, so I can fail at it again. I probably will. (Hopefully not as gloriously as last time.) My fear of failure has been holding me back from planning the retreat I want to lead in October. It is time to push that fear aside and move forward. If no one comes, or if they do and I am a terrible leader, I will not have allowed my fear to stop me.
Thank you for listening.