Why now? I am not sure but I think some of it is a change in my attitude since deciding to work on building my Spiritual Direction ministry. I have stopped watching TV as I fall asleep and now I read for 10-20 minutes and go to sleep in silence or to music. I am being intentional about reading books which feed my soul. I have finally been proactive and found a Spiritual Director of my own to help me with my growth. I have been listening to sermons and more uplifting music at work. I am volunteering at the Upper Room here in Salem. It is a beautiful space specifically for prayer. Those 2 hours on Thursday evenings force me to be attentive to God.
So doing more "spiritual things" are making me more aware? I would say yes and no. I think they play off each other, I do something to make myself aware and in return I feel drawn to do things which draw me closer. Like a spiral.
So if I have been spiraling upwards, why am I now waning? If I do the right things shouldn't I stay in the Light?
I am always in the Light. We are always in the Light. Our awareness simply waxes and wanes. I am feeling a bit of sadness as it was a blessing.
Thank you for listening.