Peace on your journey

Tulips

4/21/2021

This year is 15 years since Dale flew from this earth. In March during the week of that anniversary, one of the retired partners brought me tulips. I told him that they were Dale's favorite flower and this made me very happy.

In April, during the week of his birthday, a client brought tulips from his farm for us to share. I picked some out for here at work, and took some home. My thought was, "Dale has given me tulips twice now. I wonder when the third time will be."

Today is Administrative Assistance appreciation day. A co-worker came in with several different planted flowers and asked me which one did I want? Of course, I picked the only tulips.

Thank you Dale. I love you too.

UPDATE: April 12, 2022- Dale's birthday. Guess who got tulips today?

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Nana Brag

7/31/2019

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On Sunday, July 28, Carolyn, Malachi, LilyGrace and I went to a Volcanoes baseball game. We had a great time playing on the playground, eating pizza, ice cream, and shaved ice, as well as a great game won by the Volcanoes 8-1.

During the seven inning stretch, Carolyn took Malachi and LilyGrace down on the field to sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” with Crater and the other kids. (Guess it is time to teach them the words to this song.)

After the game, I took them down to the field to run the bases. As we stood in line waiting our turn, I asked Malachi if he would run alone and he said yes. I asked LilyGrace if she would run alone and she said no. I took a deep breath and prepared to try to run the bases.

About half way down the first base line, LilyGrace stopped. Looked up at me. “Don’t run.” She took off running again. I left the field with a sigh of relief and went to wait on them at home plate.

Malachi made it around and came to stand by me. LilyGrace, however, ran across home plate and without stopping turned left and headed back towards first. Malachi looked up at me and asked, “Can I run again?” “Yes,” and he was off and running. He finished lap two and came to stand next to me again. We watched her finish lap two, turn left and start a third lap, without looking up or slowing down. Malachi looked up at me, “Can I run again?” “Yes.” He took off with less enthusiasm this time, got halfway to first, turned left and headed across the pitcher’s mound making his third round a bit shorter.

Carolyn joined us at home plate where we were all yelling “STOP” as she rounded home plate and started lap four. She was not going as fast as round one, but she was still giving it her all. There were 2 or 3 men on the field and they were all staring in amazement. All the other kids were done and off the field. She was out there alone running those bases like a champ.

As she finished lap four, Carolyn scooped her up as she rounded home plate and started running lap five. LilyGrace looked at Carolyn with shock on her face, she was not done running! One of the men came over and gave both kids a high five. When we got home, I gave each of them one of my 5k medals. We did the math, and Lily Grace ran ¼ of a mile.

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Amen Grace

5/30/2019

5 Comments

I keep bumping into Grace lately--

Grace, Grace, God's Grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within....

Mercy there was great
And Grace was free....

But my favorite encounter went like this:

Lily Grace: Please sing
Me: What should I sing?
Lily Grace: The Amen song
Me: The Amen song?
Lily Grace: Like mommy sings-- Amen Grace
Me: ....... OH Amazing Grace

5 Comments

A Child's Theology

5/9/2019

3 Comments

Last night, I was helping put the kids to bed. They were diving from mommy's bed onto Malachi's mattress on the floor. I told them it was dangerous and they had to stop. Lily Grace did, but Malachi kept "sneaking" back onto the bed and "accidentally" falling off.

"Malachi, you must stop jumping."
"I know, but my body does it anyway. Why won't my body stop?"

Wise words from a four year old.

Romans 7:15 New International Version (NIV)
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

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Ray Gingerich

6/22/2018

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http://www.dnronline.com/obituaries/ray-gingerich/article_81caca54-7369-11e8-a527-33bf1bacae94.html

I have lost another important man in my life to prostate cancer. Damn.

In 1992, I was 20 something and my spirit was broken. My dream of being a teacher was no longer my desire, and I just wanted to find somewhere to finish my college degree. Eastern Mennonite College (University today) was my answer. I only needed three classes to complete my major, and a few required freshman classes to meet their graduation requirements. That is how my path crossed with Ray Gingerich.

From the first moment of the first class I felt my spirit stir. I was in a class full of 18 year olds and Ray was asking questions like “How do you know there is a God?” and “Are there really angels? Are they in this room right now?” The shock and horror was palpable. But for me, his questions were lifegiving. Ray was animate and energetic, with a beautiful smile and quick wit. I can see him standing there, rocking back and forth, deep in a theological conundrum-- pushing those young people to get out of the theological boxes they had been raised in and to really own their faith.

This is the most meaningful class I have ever taken.

One of our assignments from the first day of class, was the fill out a chart about different faith traditions. Down the rows on the left were labels including “Person and Nature of Jesus” and “The Human Being and Evil.” The columns included “Orthodoxy,” “Liberalism” and “Anabaptism.” We were to use our many textbooks and other resources to fill in the corresponding boxes with that faith traditions views on those topics. The first day of class was in September, and the assignment was due just before Thanksgiving.

At some point in early November the due date was extended to after Thanksgiving. I remember thinking, “Oh, I guess I better get started on that assignment.” On the day before Thanksgiving, I climbed into a car with three other students and we began a trek from Harrisonburg, VA toward Indiana where I was going to spend the holiday with my parents and my mom’s family. With the deadline looming, I spent those three days visiting with family, and frantically filling in those boxes.
The next week I turned that project in and forgot about it. The projects were returned to us just before finals in December, and mine said, “A fine piece of work- a bit skimpy at points. Ever thought about going into Theology & religion, Juel? You have excellent insights & understanding. 47/50 RG”

That comment ignited a spark which grew into a Master’s Degree from Eastern Mennonite Seminary and shaped the next 25 years of my life.

Ray, I know that there are hundreds more stories like this one out there, you were a blessing, an inspiration and a positive influence on each of us. Thank you.

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Delight

1/11/2018

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This was shared during the Call to Worship on Dec 31 at Salem Mennonite Church.

My granddaughter Lily is 21 months old. For Christmas she received not just one but two baby dolls. The surprise and joy on her face as she opened each box melted my heart. She has carries those babies around for the last week, caring for them, feeding them, and loving them. She has delighted in her babies.

Psalm 147: 11 says God delights in those who fear God.

God delights in God's children.

God delights in you.

May we all celebrate the God who delights in each of us.

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New Moons, Full Moons, and the Solar Eclipse of 2017

11/3/2017

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Here is the sermon I preached a month ago.

Scripture: Genesis 1: 14-19 and John 1: 1-9

This morning I want to share specifically with you about my lifelong love for the moon and the lessons I continue to learn from it. When I was 24, I was far from home and the moon became a fixture in the sky that I knew my family could see as well, which made them seem not so far away.

Since then I have fallen in love with the moon’s phases, consistency, and predictability. I have created what I call a theology of the moon in which I compare our spiritual lives with the moon’s phases. I have led a weekend retreat on my thoughts and want to share an overview of those thoughts and then the new lesson I learned from the recent Solar Eclipse.

In Genesis, the storytellers of the Hebrews tell us that the sun and moon were separate sources of light, one created to rule the day and one created to rule the night. In our scientific world, we have figured out how all this light works. According to Wikipedia the sun is a “nearly perfect sphere of hot plasma… consisting of helium, oxygen, carbon, neon and iron.” The moon is a permanent natural satellite which orbits the Earth. It has no light of its own.   Light leaves the sun and reflects off the moon back to the earth. The earth also has no light of its own, only what it receives from the sun and the moon.

In my analogy, we are the moon, the sun is the Light (God), and the earth is everyone around us.

In John 1, Jesus is the light of the world. The source of all light and life. Just like the moon and earth, we humans have no light of our own. We receive light from the Son (S-O-N) and are reflectors of God’s light. Humankind receives God’s light from the Son and from us when we reflect God’s light. Without the Son we are in darkness.

Back to Wikipedia for more about the moon:

The same lunar surface always faces Earth. This face is variously sunlit depending on the position of the Moon in its orbit. Therefore, the portion of this hemisphere that is visible to an observer on Earth can vary from about 100% (full moon) to 0% (new moon)

The far side of the Moon always faces away from Earth. Although both sides of the moon experience two weeks of sunlight followed by two weeks of night, the far side is sometimes called the "dark side of the Moon," with "dark" meaning "unknown" rather than lack of light.

The phase of the moon is the shape of the (sunlit) portion of the Moon as seen by an observer on Earth. The lunar phases change as the Moon orbits the Earth, according to the changing positions of the Moon and Sun relative to the Earth. The descriptor waxing is used when the Moon's apparent size is increasing, from new moon toward full moon, and waning when the size is decreasing.

Just as the moon always has a side that is fully lit, The Light is always with us.

Sometimes we feel completely in the Light like a full moon. Sometimes we feel the Light waxing or waning, but regardless of how much we reflect, or feel connected to the Light, it is always there, completely. Never failing.    During a new moon, when the moon looks dark to the earth, it is still completely lit up on the other side. In the same way, when we feel/reflect no Light, we are in a new moon phase, often called a dark night of the soul. While we may feel cut off from God we are still completely in God’s Light.

I recently read and highly recommend the book “Learning to Walk in the Dark” by Barbara Brown Taylor. In it she explores how to let go of our fear of the dark and to instead embrace it. Here is a short excerpt of her reflections on the darkness:

Darkness is shorthand for anything that scares me--either because I am sure that I do not have the resources to survive it or because I did not want to find out. If I had my way, I would eliminate everything from chronic back pain to the fear of the devil from my life and the lives of those I love. At least I think I would. The problem is this: when, despite all my best efforts, the lights have gone off in my life, plunging me into the kind of darkness that turns my knees to water, I have not died. The monsters have not dragged me out of bed and taken me back to their lair. Instead, I have learned things in the dark that I could never have learned in the light, things that have saved my life over and over again, so that there is really only one logical conclusion. I need darkness as much as I need light.

I have been through several dark nights of the soul and I agree there is much to be learned in the darkness.

The last piece of my metaphor involves eclipses and my definition of sin. For me, sin involves God’s light being blocked. During a lunar eclipse, the earth blocks the light we are able to see coming from the sun. In the same way, other people in our lives can block our ability to see the Light of God. During a solar eclipse, the moon blocks the light of the sun from the earth. In the same way we can block the Light of God from others.

With this analogy in the back of my mind, I went into watching the solar eclipse with anticipation and excitement. I wondered how scary the loss of light must have been for those who witnessed this sight before we could predict its coming. Since we knew what was going to happen, we could actually celebrate and appreciate the darkness as it came.

What I didn’t anticipate was the immense beauty of the corona during totality. Pictures and descriptions by people who had experienced it before did not begin to prepare me for the experience. As I have contemplated my encounter with the eclipse, I am drawn back to my analogy…. The moon blocked the sun’s light, but not completely. I can block God’s Light from others, but not completely. God is amazing and finds a way to shine around my shortcomings. Try as we might, we cannot stop God.

Now that I have new insights, I look forward to leading my retreat again someday.

Source of both darkness and light,
Thank you for giving us life.
We acknowledge that we have no light of our own,
But that we each carry your Light inside of us.
Thank you for showing us how to be light to others,
Help us sit in the darkness without fear.
Amen

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Upcoming Retreat

8/10/2017

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I am back!

I am very excited to announce that I am once again hosting my Mindfulness Retreat at the Terry-a-while Motel in Yachats, Oregon. Details are under the Upcoming Retreats tab. Please join us for a relaxing, mostly silent retreat.

Also, I am fighting this depression. My doctor has increased my medication which has helped. My Spiritual Director has helped me focus on the present and not the future.

She also helped me decide that the goal of blogging once a month instead of once a week was less pressure and doable. So here is my post for August. Can't wait to see what I have to say in September. Maybe something about the eclipse which is coming to my town.

Thank you for reading and being there for me.

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And so it begins....

1/5/2017

6 Comments

A year ago I wrote about how grief sneaks up on me every year at this time.

The past few weeks at work have been crazy busy with the changing of our name from AKT to Aldrich. Tax season is approaching quickly... my nerves have been stretched.

Last evening I was heading to church for a meeting when I drove past the Oregon Fairgrounds. On the sign was the upcoming Home Show. Here is what happened inside my head:

Dale and I went to that home show... just before he was diagnosed with cancer... he was in so much pain.... we had a terrible fight because he was trying to hide his pain......... now I can see all the signs that he was covering up his terrible pain.......

By the time I got to church I thought I had pulled myself together. As I sat down the pastor asked me, "How are you?" Being the feeling extrovert that I am, I started to share and started to sob. It is hard to chair a meeting when you are sobbing. <smile>

So here I am, repeating my yearly cycle of reliving 2005 when Dale was sick and 2006 after he was gone. Yes, I relive all of those 2 years in a 3 month span every year. Wow. I just realized how crazy making that is. No wonder I feel crazy! I guess it is time for me to seek out ways to get off this train.

Thank you for listening.

6 Comments

Darkness and Light

12/7/2016

1 Comment

December.
Solistice.
Darkness.

Once again, I am overextended in December due to birthdays and holiday fun. As an extrovert (and a 2), it is hard for me to say no. But December is the darkest month of the year, and I have SAD, therefore it is the hardest month for me to function. This internal struggle is one I continue to work on.

Light.

I am addicted to light. I turn on every light in the house. I don't understand when people sit in a room that is dark. I find comfort in candles and fireplaces.

December 21 will be the shortest day of the year for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. It always feels like a victory knowing each day going forward will bring more light. My attitude changes even though there are many days of winter ahead.

~the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned. Matthew 4:16

Christmas was placed in December to coincide with the Solstice, to celebrate the coming of The Light into the world. I appreciate this juxtaposition. As I long for the sunlight to return, I welcome the Light of the World in the form of a baby in a manger.

~Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. Isaiah 60:1

I hold you each in the Light.

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Tulips

Nana Brag

Amen Grace

A Child's Theology

Ray Gingerich

Delight

New Moons, Full Moons, and the Solar Eclipse of 2017

Upcoming Retreat

And so it begins....

Darkness and Light

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